Why Weight Loss Is Hard

“If you find a better way to be happy than by overeating, your body will naturally return to it’s balanced state.” – Deepak Chopra

We are meant to live with purpose, with passion, and our daily fuel should come from a deeper sense of resonance as we live out that which fully engages our hearts and spirits.

Our natural state is one of leanness, health and equilibrium. Maintaining one’s natural weight should always be simple, easy and effortless.

It is when we are disconnected from our purpose that this equilibrium gets disrupted and so do our appetites. Where does this subconscious need to fill our bodies with more food than is necessary, to eat in a way that does not feel good stem from?

Our appetites are akin to thermostats that automatically recalibrate and desire a level of homeostasis. This homeostasis is most disrupted when we are not living in accordance with our higher purpose, when we are living to just get by.

Each of us long to feel connected to others and when we feel cut off from the world, our appetites seek nourishment and pleasure in realms that are within its control–food.

Whenever I notice that urge to overeat creep into my life, it is always during those times where I feel disconnected from others and from meaningful work that I am excited about. Food becomes becomes the forefront rather than the foreground, because it’s easier to focus and obsess about food and weight rather than confront my fears and step outside of my comfort zone.

As long as we are using food to cope and to fill those blank spaces of life that feel empty, weight loss will always be an uphill battle. Because it is not food or weight we are fighting, but the substitution of food and weight for that which we do not want to deal with.

Food and weight becomes the scapegoat, the obsession that never satisfies, and we are left perpetually starved of that which can and will nourish us.

We substitute our desire and capacity for intimacy and fulfillment both interpersonally and occupationally, because we do not really want to face life, to face pain, to face failure and the possibility of not being good enough.

We substitute our longings and dreams of who and what we could be for the temporal food and weight obsession, because it is easier to contend with our own self-loathing and self-hatred related to our body size. It is easier to dwell upon and despise the size of our thighs than it is to dwell upon and dream of the possibility and potential that we have to be impactful, influential and positive.

It is much more convenient to calculate calories and macros than it is to face the possibility that we do deserve love and we also do deserve to have our deepest desires come true.

We live to eat when we refuse to feel the pain and discomfort of failure, of rejection of all that we are afraid to look at within ourselves because of deep-seated beliefs related to not being good enough.

When we live to eat, food and weight become our obsession, our lives, because we are refusing to pursue and to develop our innate skills and talents that stem from our passions.

Food becomes the substitute for passion.

However, when we eat to live, weight loss is easy because food no longer becomes the center of our lives.

When we befriend and embrace fear and that which challenges us, passion becomes our purpose. We become connected to something greater than ourselves in this process, and doing anything besides nourishing our bodies and souls becomes an impossibility rather than the norm.

How to End Suffering

“To stop suffering, stop greediness. Greediness is a source of suffering.” – Buddha

This I know for sure, that fear can be the cause suffering.

Fear manifests itself in curious ways.

The most compelling of which is the tendency and need to identify with a self separate from others. This separate self promulgates the need to seek fulfillment outside of oneself through the perpetual chasing of accumulation and attaining through things, power and people.

Even the search for enlightenment is a searching for something in the future outside of this moment, outside of being here right now.

To be happy, is to be with what is and to be in need and want of nothing. To be content with presence, which is conditionless. It is to surrender your own desires — for isn’t greed, a manifestation of fear, the search for security, power, and status?

What if the universe, amidst your lack of fulfillment, dissatisfaction or feeling of mediocrity, is gently pointing you towards surrender and a letting go of your own desires, plans, purpose,, mission and plan? To instead trust and actually embrace the not-knowing the uncertainty?

It is non-identification and non-resistance which facilitate, create, and manifest fearlessness and true power.

Your mind, instead of being your enemy, is actually your teacher. Be the witness to your mind and be the kind, compassionate friend to the mental noise, because that is how the mental noise and the need to identification with your thoughts dissipates.

We focus our eyes on the world and define our hearts and bodies through the culturally sanctioned filter that defines worth and meaning.

We feel helpless because these definitions are not real and the mind, the incessant chatter that seeks itself in others,, in society’s voice, isn’t real. It’s a perpetual seeking and a perpetual longing that is never satisfied.

It’s exhausting.

Until we are in tune with being, all our doing is futile and not rooted in the law of abundance and potentiality. Be rooted in being and the rest will come in due time, not out of trying and effort, but because the universe intrinsically honors that which resonates the vibrational energy that is in alignment with itself.

So how do we continually practice non-identification, the key to freedom from fear?

By noticing and becoming aware, like a third party witness, of the ways in which we resist each moment that arises.

Oftentimes we contrast the present moment to how we think things should be instead of allowing things to be as they are. Whenever we place a should on anything, we are resisting the moment and not allowing it to unfold. Pain and suffering arises from this resistance.

What are your patterns of resistance–how does it show up in your life?

How do you consistently wish things to be different from how they are –can you see how this pattern of thinking leads to suffering?

All of us carry in our minds an ideal of how we think our lives should be.

What would happen if we unconditionally allowed life to be, however it is, instead of wishing it were different?

We disallow contentment through this pattern of contrasting how life is and how we think it should be. Notice how you compare your life to the picture in your mind of what it should be.

When we contrast and compare our moments we are not here. We are dwelling on the future, which is merely a mental image. We do this because we are afraid of what is. Allowing our experience of each moment to be as it is, is in essence a meditation because we are not resisting, we are allowing.

What Are You Waiting For?

“What you seek is seeking you.” – Rumi

What if you could be as happy as you will ever be, right here, right now?

What if all the financial freedom in the world could not buy you the happiness, joy and peace that you could have right here, right now?

What if the secret to having it all, was believing that you already do? Not in the material sense, but in in a way in which having “it all” would not even matter. Because when we are truly alive to each moment, when we surrender our hearts, our thoughts, our desires to the stillness that beckons us in each breathe that we take and each heartbeat that we feel, the peace that we seek in some future security or materialistic gain becomes secondary. For in each moment that we step out of the confines of our minds, we are free.

When being present to each moment, no matter the form that it takes, becomes primary, happiness no longer becomes something that we need to seek or even wait for. Our lives no longer become a paper chase, each moment no longer becomes a stepping stone, and every person no longer becomes an advantage for gain.

When we shift our purpose, we shift our meaning in the world, and happiness no longer becomes something that we wait for when x and y happens.

We resist the forms that life takes when we want things to be different than they are. We accept the forms that life takes when we allow things to be just as they are and can recognize the good in even the bad.

If who we really are is eternal and if our identities are not our thoughts and our bodies and our mortality, then why do we allow our minds to convince us that happiness is something outside of ourselves, something that needs to be sought, attained, and bought?

When we search for happiness outside of ourselves, it is only because we have not already cultivated it within ourselves. We look on the outside when we have not cultivated the awareness of that which we already are.

What are you waiting for?

Perhaps in the waiting, you have missed out on all the miracles in each moment, dreaming of the rainbow that was there all along.

Each time that we fall into the belief that the future can provide fulfillment, happiness and security, we are in alignment with the ego, fear-based thinking, that needs something outside of itself to feel complete. This is ultimately the greatest illusion and the most elusive cause of unhappiness.

Isn’t it ironic that the thing we chase after in order to bring happiness is the very thing that prevents us from being happy?

If you are looking outside of yourself for happiness, you have forgotten who you are. If you need someone or something to fulfill you, look at why you need these in the first place. The chase and pursuit of happiness outside of oneself is never-ending because it can’t be found there, in some other time or place or person.

It can only ever be found, here, regardless of the circumstances.

Do You Know Who You Really Are?

“To meet everything and everyone through stillness instead of mental noise is the greatest gift you can offer to the universe.” Eckhart Tolle

We are not free until we have discovered who we really are.

We are not touch with who we really are until we have broken out of the routine, monotonous conditioning of our overthinking and confines of our thoughts.

Thoughts in and of themselves are limiting — most of the time they become the mental noise that pervades the space in which we inhabit.

This constant mental noise distracts us from actually being present to life, present to ourselves and we live and walk in a trance, blinded to our own thinking mind that is constantly analyzing, judging, blaming, scheming, planning.

The filter of mental noise blocks us from this divine perceptivity, wisdom and creativity.

We are most “ourselves” when we exist beyond the realm of thought and in the realm of inner stillness, openness, and compassionate, unconditioned awareness.

Too often we identify with that which is not ourselves. How we perceive ourselves in the eyes of others and base our worth on whether they can provide some sort of affirmation. The most compelling substrate we use for this is money because money equals power in our culture.

We recognize who we really are when we stop identifying with our thoughts and step out of that mindspace of thinking and into that eternal presence and awareness that is love.

We forget and fail to live and miss out each day that we forgo to live with presence because we have too much to worry about in the future.

We tell ourselves that only when we have greater security and money, only then will we be able to be present. We tell ourselves that today just isn’t a good day and that we are too busy to take the time to be aware, to smile at another person, to open the door for someone.

Are you consumed by your thinking mind and does it control you? Or are you free of your thinking mind, do you life with thoughtless awareness, unburdened by the need to cling to an identity that is constantly seeking itself through the world?

Practice presence exercise:

What are some routine things that you do everyday that you can make into active meditations? Any activity can be an active meditation when we bring presence and awareness, a blank mind, to whatever we are doing.

The daily activities I enjoy bringing greater awareness to include driving, brushing my teeth, working out, washing dishes, and eating meals.

Instead of making presence a black or white duality in our life, we can gently and compassionately incorporate it into each of our daily activities until it becomes a habit we don’t even think about.

How Does Avoidance Show Up in Your Life?

“People will do anything, no matter how absurd, to avoid facing their own souls.” – Carl Jung

Whenever we avoid or circumvent a fear in a our life, in the moment it feels like comfort, like we are avoiding the pain, the hardship, and the strife of having to deal with the fear.

But what is even more painful than challenging and facing our fear directly is avoiding the fear. Because the very thing we are avoiding having to face will show up in other areas of our lives.

When we avoid our fear, if manifests in a multitude of other forms and it reconstitutes itself emotionally as reoccurring nightmares, anxiety, rage, boredom, overeating. It manifests physically as excess body weight, digestive problems, body aches, migraines and fatigue.

One of the most insidious ways that we cope with our fear is through compulsive behavior.

We have conditioned ourselves to use any tactic necessary in order to not have to face that which we do not want to face. Those circumstances and issues that provoke feelings of unworthiness, boredom, purposelessness, lack, or uncertainty, confusion, or stress, can make us turn to behaviors to short circuit us having to deal, having to take responsibility, having to find a solution.

But every time we escape or run or avoid, the pain remains.

We do not get through and get past the pain via avoidance. We get through and past the pain by facing it, feeling it, questioning it, and examining it.

In what ways does avoidance manifest in your life?

What pattern of avoidance predominates in your life–does it pop up most often when you are dealing with physical ailments, certain relationship triggers such as rejection or lack of validation?

Perhaps it is not the fear itself that you need to run away from but the running behavior in and of itself. Perhaps what’s stopping you is not the fear but your intolerance of feeling your fear.

Your running behavior is a sign from the universe that you should run to this fear.

Instead of allowing this fear to control your life (via running – whatever you avoid ultimately controls you), it is time to confront this fear and whatever uncomfortable feelings it brings up for you.

As long as you keep avoiding it, whatever it is (i.e. bodily discomfort, a chronic physical condition, an assignment), it will keep popping up in other areas of your life to teach you the lesson it is trying to teach you.

We don’t learn the lesson unless we are willing to listen and to learn. We learn nothing when we continually to avoid via compulsive behaviors of any kind.

And there will always be fear in your life, it’s how you cope with it that means everything. As long as we are human and alive there is fear because there is the unknown.

It is human to fear yet we die every time we choose to run from ourselves rather than accepting ourselves. We die every time we numb ourselves instead of being present to the discomfort and the pain that resides in our bodies.

Notice the triggers that make you want to escape. Whether it is that evokes feelings of emptiness, loneliness, and worthlessness in you. Whatever it is that makes you feel intolerable and brings up an insatiable craving to drown in a substance that is anything and anywhere but here and now, notice that. The secret to escaping the compulsion is the awareness that you are never ever getting away from anything.

Just be here, now, that is all you have to do.

Each time you are present, you get closer to resolving the fear that you so desperately are avoiding.

How to Harness the Power of Intention

“Intentions compressed into words enfold magical power.” – Deepak Chopra

We each hold a power inside of us that is beyond measure. A power so great that if we understood and truly comprehended this magnificence, our lives would be different.

This power that we possess is this gift of intention. Because out of our thoughts, we create this image of ourselves, we create this reality that we live and breathe in.

How would you engage in and act differently if you knew 100%, without a shadow of a doubt, that whatever you set your intention on would come to fruition?

It truly is miraculous how the universe works in alignment with our intention, drawing into our lives the circumstances, people and situations that work to make us better, stronger, and wiser.

Recognizing this innate power is akin to realizing that the magic wand you have been dreaming of has been in your hand all along. Although you cannot see it, it is there.

Your ability to manifest what you want (create and to be who you want to be), is contingent upon your belief in this very power.

Choose your thoughts wisely and be discerning in which thoughts you allow yourself to believe. When you choose to accept fear-based thoughts, those related to scarcity, lack, hopelessness and negativity, the very vibration of those beliefs act as a repellant that deter abundance, health, and wealth. Fear-based thinking is the antithesis to this very power of attraction and abundance.

Your thoughts are like magnets and your intention will be reflected back to you 100% by the universe. It is important that we are clear on our intentions and that we ourselves mirror that which we seek.

If you long for a loving relationship with a partner, do you have a loving relationship with yourself?

If you desire financial abundance, do you believe that you deserve abundance? Do you give as easily as you receive?

If you crave more emotional intimacy/friends, are being the friend you would want to have?

If you want greater harmony in your relationships, have you cultivated this harmony within your own mind and body?

The precursor to harnessing the power of intention is a deeper and broader awareness of the power that we can tap into — this ability to have desire and follow through with it.

Utilizing this power comes with greater ease when we truly understand how the universe reflects that which we are. When we have a desire which we wholeheartedly follow through with, the universe works in equal measure to assist in the manifestation of that desire.

If there is a desire or longing that you have that has not yet manifested, have you considered the forces within yourself that could be compromising its manifestation?

It is not the manifestation of your desire that is of value and utmost importance, but your belief in the possibility and potential of that desire to come true. That is where the true power lies.

What doubts do you have about your worth, your ability to make this desire come true? What fears do you have about what others may think in relation to this desire?

When we hold onto these fears, even subconsciously, the universe picks up on these feelings. When we run fearlessly in the pursuit of our intentions, the universe honors that as well. The result is the manifestation of our dreams.

How Your Unconscious Beliefs Shape Your Reality

“Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will control your life and you will call it fate.” – Carl Jung

What stops you in your life?

What is it that holds you back from chasing your dream and doing what you have always wanted to do but haven’t?

As long as you hold onto the core belief of unworthiness, even subconsciously, your reality will be shaped by this belief.

Your actions, motivation, and ability to accomplish and fulfill your destiny [alignment with your true self] is jeopardized.

We are in alignment with who we really are, source, when we disidentify with our thoughts, with the thinking mind.

We gain ourselves when we lose ourselves.

How do we disidentify with our thoughts and this deep sense of unworthiness?

By acknowledging and recognizing how our adherence to the core belief of unworthiness influences our thoughts, beliefs, and actions.

It’s not wrong to hold onto this belief and there is no shame in doing so, because we all do it. However, as long as we live from an inner state of lack, deprivation, from this myopic
feeling that we do not deserve love and abundance, we shortchange ourselves.

How does the belief of unworthiness manifest in our lives?

When we settle because we do not believe we deserve and can have better.

When we look outwards for approval and validation.

When we stay safe and comfortable instead of challenging ourselves beyond our comfort zone. When feelings of hopelessness and despair creep into our hearts.

When we blame others instead of taking responsibility for our brokenness.

When we make excuses such as “I don’t know” because it’s always easier to make excuses than to risk losing.

As long as we hold onto the idea that we have time and that there is time to fulfill our creative passions and desires, we withhold ourselves from abundance because the only time we ever have is now.

It is a false illusion when we believe that we can find our security in some future time or place and through possessions.

In doing so we are merely seeking ourselves in a place where belonging and security cannot be found.

But our purpose can felt in our body in this moment, in the awakening of our own hearts to be fully present.

When we can unfold to this presence and stillness within ourselves, we tap into the universal source of love that drives us to dream, to do what we want– fearlessly.

Notice the voices and thoughts that arise from your conditioning, the voices that tell you that you can’t, that you don’t deserve, that you are not good enough.

For it is the continual belief in those thoughts that perpetuate a lack of fulfillment and gratification. That perpetuate a lack of motivation and direction.

When you step outside of the framework of your own thinking mind and see you for you, it is like taking the collar off and realizing that you never had to wear the collar.

It is like stepping outside of the prison cell and realizing that the door was never locked.

It is like winning the game and realizing that the only rules that existed were the ones that you created.

Stop defining yourself. Step outside of definition and into presence, being. Who you are cannot be defined. Nor can the limitless creative potential that is within you.