Why Weight Loss Is Hard

“If you find a better way to be happy than by overeating, your body will naturally return to it’s balanced state.” – Deepak Chopra

We are meant to live with purpose, with passion, and our daily fuel should come from a deeper sense of resonance as we live out that which fully engages our hearts and spirits.

Our natural state is one of leanness, health and equilibrium. Maintaining one’s natural weight should always be simple, easy and effortless.

It is when we are disconnected from our purpose that this equilibrium gets disrupted and so do our appetites. Where does this subconscious need to fill our bodies with more food than is necessary, to eat in a way that does not feel good stem from?

Our appetites are akin to thermostats that automatically recalibrate and desire a level of homeostasis. This homeostasis is most disrupted when we are not living in accordance with our higher purpose, when we are living to just get by.

Each of us long to feel connected to others and when we feel cut off from the world, our appetites seek nourishment and pleasure in realms that are within its control–food.

Whenever I notice that urge to overeat creep into my life, it is always during those times where I feel disconnected from others and from meaningful work that I am excited about. Food becomes becomes the forefront rather than the foreground, because it’s easier to focus and obsess about food and weight rather than confront my fears and step outside of my comfort zone.

As long as we are using food to cope and to fill those blank spaces of life that feel empty, weight loss will always be an uphill battle. Because it is not food or weight we are fighting, but the substitution of food and weight for that which we do not want to deal with.

Food and weight becomes the scapegoat, the obsession that never satisfies, and we are left perpetually starved of that which can and will nourish us.

We substitute our desire and capacity for intimacy and fulfillment both interpersonally and occupationally, because we do not really want to face life, to face pain, to face failure and the possibility of not being good enough.

We substitute our longings and dreams of who and what we could be for the temporal food and weight obsession, because it is easier to contend with our own self-loathing and self-hatred related to our body size. It is easier to dwell upon and despise the size of our thighs than it is to dwell upon and dream of the possibility and potential that we have to be impactful, influential and positive.

It is much more convenient to calculate calories and macros than it is to face the possibility that we do deserve love and we also do deserve to have our deepest desires come true.

We live to eat when we refuse to feel the pain and discomfort of failure, of rejection of all that we are afraid to look at within ourselves because of deep-seated beliefs related to not being good enough.

When we live to eat, food and weight become our obsession, our lives, because we are refusing to pursue and to develop our innate skills and talents that stem from our passions.

Food becomes the substitute for passion.

However, when we eat to live, weight loss is easy because food no longer becomes the center of our lives.

When we befriend and embrace fear and that which challenges us, passion becomes our purpose. We become connected to something greater than ourselves in this process, and doing anything besides nourishing our bodies and souls becomes an impossibility rather than the norm.

My Favorite Weight Loss Trick

Losing weight is the easiest thing in the world and it can be fun, satisfying and delicious.

No meal prepping, no feeling deprived, and no feeling hungry all the time.

My favorite weight loss trick is smoothie bowls.

how_to_make_a_balanced_smoothie_bowl

Why I love smoothie bowls:

  • They taste absolutely delicious

  • They are satisfying and filling

  • They are nutritious

  • They facilitate amazing digestion

  • They facilitate weight lossbowl2

My favorite smoothie bowl recipe for perfect digestion and weight loss:

  • 1 cup ice
  • 1/2 cup unsweetened, vanilla almond milk
  • 1 – 2 cups greens
  • 1 small handful of dates
  • 1 scoop whey protein powder
  • 1 tbspn flaxseed oil
  • 1 tbspn flaxseed

My favorite toppings for my smoothie bowl:

  • artisanal granola
  • toasted coconut flakes
  • dried date pieces
  • dried blueberries/cranberries
  • almonds/cashews
  • blueberries

How to Deal With Difficult Situations/People

“In order for you to insult me, I would first have to value your opinion.” – Anonymous

It is how we cope and react to extenuating people, situations and circumstances that impacts our lives the most. It is in these times that we truly learn to cope in an adaptive way, in a manner that protects an independent, healthy, whole sense of self. Uncomfortable situations will always arise in our lives, including those that are triggering, painful and emotionally draining. The same situations and people that used to trigger me to engage in unhealthy coping behaviors no longer impact me the same way, because I choose not to allow them to. How was I able to make this radical shift?

While the same forces may still upset me, aggravate me and cause me to feel poorly, I have the choice as to how I will react and behave towards these feelings.

It is empowering to recognize that we have the power to allow others to impact us and make us feel a certain way. We have the choice.

I make the choice to see what were before triggers with greater neutrality. I make the choice to protect my sense of self and self integrity regardless of how others treat me and their acceptance or judgment of me. I choose not to turn on myself and betray my own self value just because someone else demeans and devalues me.

Making these small choices is what it means to love myself unconditionally. It is what it means to cope differently and this is what self-respect is all about.

When I choose to love myself regardless of how others treat me and how difficult life situations get (especially ones that invoke feelings of frustration and fear), I am reminding myself that my worth is not contingent on them and that my worth has no contingencies, period.

I refuse to allow anyone or anything to make me doubt who I really I am and my true essence which is pure awareness–love. I choose no longer to identify with the ego in me, that small self that thinks I am worthless. I no longer have to react the same way nor do I have to believe what anyone else says about me, because I already know my worth, my value, and how it is changeless, formless and timeless.

Who I really am is eternal in nature and cannot be mocked, derogated and derailed because the same spirit that is in me is also in you.

Whether it is the you that mocks me or the you that loves me, nothing changes with your words and your feelings. I love that I can maintain a stable sense of self, one that cannot be marred or dismantled by changing cultures, values and viewpoints.

It is empowering to disable disempowering people and situations through shifting my own perspective about them and altering my behavior to reflect this change.

Before you act out in a way that is out of alignment with who you really are, look inside to see your own light. Don’t let others steal it from you. Shine bright regardless.

“I’m canceling my subscription to your issues.” – Anonymous

difficultpeople

How to be happy NOW

“Life is made up of moments. Moments create days. Days create months. Months create years. Years create life. Lose the moment and you lose life.”


Goals are awesome but when we are consumed by them to the point where we postpone our happiness and security for those moments that we achieve something, we have lost our true purpose because we have lost ourselves. I have found that the more I base my sense of security identity on financial security and having “enough” the less secure and at peace I feel. The way out isn’t to achieve financial security, the way out is to not base my security on anything in this world, on any circumstance or condition.

Security cannot be found in this world, form is always changing. The very thing I am seeking myself and security in (which is actually not a thing) can provide the opportunity and is a blessing to recognize that my attachments to the things of this world cause greater pain than joy and freedom and happiness will be fleeting illusions and mirages the more I believe I will be happy in some future moment upon the attainment of them. I tell myself that once I have a home of my own and am in a settled relationship that sense of security will come and I will feel at ease but the more I desire and chase after those things the less ease I feel, and I am more detached from this moment. Our only true safety is in this moment in this awareness of our true essence, for this awareness and being will always be and never changes. The farther you look the farther from yourself you are and the more impossible it becomes to feel that security.

chasing money

Security in the worldly sense is one of the greatest illusions. How ironic it is that when there is an internal shift, a change in perspective about what is truly valuable, we become more connected to this moment and less detached with outcome and future. It is liberating, freeing and joyous to experience this moment to moment peace and no longer need any future moment outcome or thing to add to our sense of self and concept of self worth.  The dis-ease I find in seeking things in order to feel complete, like I’ve made it, is the compulsion of our society for more. We need things to add value we need others affirmation and approval of us to feel valuable.

“Chase the vision, not the money, and the money will end up following you.” – Tony Hsieh, Zappos Ceo

What gives you your sense of value? Is it your job, your spouse, the number in your bank account, some future plans you have for success? If this is the case, be prepared to feel even more empty once you attain these things because when our value is attached to these things our peace has become contingent on something external rather than internal and that’s a scary place to be. Because people die and leave and their feelings change, houses burn down and can go into foreclosure, and money comes and goes. Is it your goal to attain more in order to feel more or is it your goal to not need things and circumstances to add to your sense of self?

“Some people are so poor, all they have is money.”

Perhaps this is the true essence of the saying “less is more”. You may find that your chasing goals and situations steals from your joy instead of adding to it. Watch out for too much chasing because sometimes we are just trying to run from ourselves –from being. I am humbled when I think of what Wayne dyer said about material possessions. He stated he no longer wants them at all and no longer finds value in having them. Instead he finds value in being and contentment in serving others. That to me is someone who is free. We cannot be happy unless we are free, free from the conditioning of culture and society, free from our need to find ourselves in what the world says is valuable, free from basing who we are on things because isn’t that absurd, free from the need to label ourselves as worthy and good enough based upon what we have and own.

Let’s not forget who we really are and let’s forget what anyone else tries to impose on us. Sometimes we lose ourselves in the more we do and try to be and we find ourselves in the still moments when we recognize we are enough. The more you seek to add to your value through things or attainment the farther you are from yourself. You cannot find your worth in those things because there will always be someone who has more. And the chase will always continue. And so will your depleting sense of value the moment you attain what you believed the attainment would promise in satisfaction and feeling of wholeness. so stop looking and chasing and just be. When you can do that, you have walked into “the kingdom of heaven” where moth and rust cannot destroy. You have found yourself and there is nothing more valuable than that.

“Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about the things that matter.”  – Martin Luther King