How to Cultivate Daily Habits to Manifest Greater Purpose

“Live the life you have imagined.” – Henry David Thoreau

A part of living a rewarding and satisfying life, is to do things that build a greater sense of self efficacy and to engage in activities that challenge us. To stick to our goals it is important to feel as though you are living in accordance with your higher goals and your higher purpose.

Our daily actions should be aligned with getting us closer to our greater larger picture goals.

Are your daily activities and habits contributing towards your goals or detracting? Are they serving you? If we do not take the necessary actions on a daily basis to achieve our goals, we may be left with a sense of powerlessness or stagnation or even boredom, a sense that life is passing us by. Here are some simple steps I have found to assist me in breaking through any resistance or unconscious fears that may be holding me back and keeping me in a place of complacency and mediocrity.

   A Vision

Have a clear vision of a goal that you have for yourself and put a deadline on it.

Whether it’s 6 month or a year a deadline is important. This goal may be occupational, spiritual, and can be related to any area of your life. Imagine what it feels like to accomplish this goal, taste, feel and breathe the satisfaction of this goal being your living reality.

How does achieving this goal add to your sense of value and purpose, how does it align with your purpose, and how does it contribute towards your ability to serve others? Contemplating your passion and motivations to achieve this goal and allowing this time for self reflection is integral before you commit to a daily habit that builds towards it.

A Commitment

Commit to a daily habit to propel you towards that goal. My vision for myself was a successful blog. My action to get me closer towards my goal was taking one non-negotiable action daily towards my goal and that was to write one article per day.

Action: No matter what, I must write one article per day, regardless of how I feel. (Feeling tired and unmotivated are no excuses).

Commitment negates motivation. Motivation is dependent on feelings and external circumstances. There are no excuses when it comes to commitment. This is the meaning of discipline and just the very habit of exercising greater discipline in just one area of your life will elevate feelings of self efficacy, naturally increasing motivation.

   A Promise

Remind yourself that if you commit to this, your dream will grow. I told myself that all I had to do was this one thing daily and my goal would manifest. This was the universe speaking to me to motivate and to empower me.

It is not the things we do sporadically that make the greatest impact, but the things we do daily and consistently that have the greatest impact.

   A Reality

Time is finite, it is a gift.

Use the time that you have wisely and infuse your actions with urgency. It is a pitfall to hold onto the belief that there is always more time. While there may be more time, no one really knows for the future cannot be predicted–now is all we ever have. Why do we live with the belief that we will have more time? Boredom results from forgetting your power your purpose and your potential.

Fear fuels boredom. Love fuels empowerment and passion.

We attract abundance when our mindset intrinsically reflects abundance. Love, a mindset of abundance, uses its resources wisely and doesn’t squander it. Are you squandering your life, your time, or using it as if it were precious valuable and extremely important.

For how you use your time reflects your inner beliefs about worth — is not time more valuable than money?

Money can be gained, time cannot.

   No Excuses

Recognize that the manifestation of your vision is your responsibility and yours only.

No one else can save you.

There is no one to blame and there really is no excuse for your not being able to achieve it. What excuses have you made to yourself about your goal? A common excuse for not taking responsibility is a lack of clarity surrounding ones goals and visions of success. The thought pattern of “I don’t know,” or “I don’t know how,” can be a roadblock for anyone.

Do beliefs of low self worth or does the habit of self comparison compromise your belief about what you deserve? Commit to full heartedly knowing what you want and what success looks like and that you deserve and can have anything you desire just as anyone else in this world does.

Trust

Recognize that you have something unique and special to contribute to the world through your gift and that unless you hone in and put in some daily effort towards your goal you are not utilizing your gift. It is a waste and a tragedy to not utilize something you have been given. The desire within you is the seed of the manifestation and was given you for a reason otherwise you would not have this desire.

Trust your desires and your visions.

Your daily effort to achieve this vision is like watering the seed consistently. Your very desire(s) was given you with a very specific purpose. It takes wisdom and discernment to recognize the gift and to cultivate discipline to bring that gift (pure potential) to fruition.

Contemplation

What negative beliefs about yourself do you hold onto that sabotage your motivation to succeed? Can you recognize how these thought patterns reinforce procrastination or idleness?

  • Do beliefs that you are not worthy, that you do not deserve success, that you are not good enough or smart enough stand in your way?
  • Do beliefs that your time is not valuable or that there is more time in the future cause you to put off working towards your goal?
  • Does your belief of dependency that you need someone else to help you stifle your own power?

Take some time to examine what maladaptive, distorted beliefs stand in your way of cultivating growth aund power in your daily routine. You are living and breathing passion, power and potential. Foster affirmations that cultivate your intrinsic nature and cut out those beliefs that say otherwise.

While time is limited, you true essence is not.

What’s holding you back from living and being who you really are and were meant to be?

motivational poster quote LIFE BEGINS AT THE END OF COMFORT ZONE

5 Strategies to Release Compulsive Behavior

 


 

“Every form of addiction is bad, no matter whether the narcotic be alcohol or morphine or idealism.” – Carl Jung

Addictions need breeding grounds to survive; certain factors need to be present in order to create the perfect environment for compulsion to thrive in.  These factors, in more clinical terms, include: affect regulation difficulties, maladaptive (emotion-focused) coping, and low self-esteem. In other words, having difficulty coping with bad feelings, particularly powerlessness and helplessness and identifying with feelings of worthlessness, foster the ideal conditions for compulsive behavior to come out and play. Addictive behaviors are all characterized by affect regulation difficulties. That means, difficulties managing one’s feelings and emotions.

Certain situations that invoke negative feelings, characterized by frustration and powerlessness, are the triggers to look out for when recovering from an addiction. Common triggers include certain people, being in particular places, and demanding sitations such as school or work. What is the antidote to spiraling out of control? Here are several strategies you can use to overcome any addiction, while moreso discovering who you really are:

1) Identify your triggers.

What situations, people or places trigger your desire to escape through compulsive behavior. What is it about the situation, place or person that invokes distress and feelings of helplessness and powerlessness? Why do you feel out of control. The trick is to cope with feelings of powerlessness differently. That is the key. For every cause there is an effect, and it can be difficult to understand where compulsions come from. Sometimes it is impossible to tease our the exact cause of them. Examining the nature of what is triggering you be provide insight into what is leading to you negative feelings. It could be something someone said, it could be when you deal with ambiguity or situations that are confusing or don’t have clear answers. Perhaps you notice the urge to use when someone has violated your boundaries or when you think about an event in the future that you dread and have anxiety about.

Triggers cause us to feel like our negative feelings are unmanageable and that is when we identify with that small sense of self. We identify with our fears, the little me, the ego, because it makes sense and is in alignment with the story we have told ourselves for years about who we are. It’s comfortable. The underlying theme of all triggers is that they invoke negative affect, most notably, powerlessness. With awareness and the ability to identify what is the trigger, we take a step back and in doing so, create space to see what is happening.

2) Free yourself.

Disidentify with your addiction. You are not your addiction, you are not your compulsion and you are not the consequences that the addiction has wreaked in your life. The insidious part about addiction is that it corrodes and eats away at one’s self esteem. It becomes a cycle of feeling bad about oneself and using to cope with those feelings and then using because one feels bad about not being able to stop using. However, one quick way to feel good about oneself and increase positive feelings is to stop playing the tape in your head of “I am bad and I can’t stop,” because you are not bad and you CAN stop. Whatever negative feelings you feel, recognize that they are not a part of you and they are not reality.

3) Get in touch with who you really are. 

Who you are never ever changes, your true essence always remains the same. Funny how we allow certain people and situations steal our sense of love and compassion towards ourselves and the world. We allow others to destroy our peace when the words and actions of others disturb us and thus struggle with maintaining a stable sense of self. What will add to your sense of empowerment and love for yourself? What will make you feel good in this moment besides using? If we were not raised with unconditional love, we may place conditional love on ourselves. In what ways do you place conditions on whether you love yourself? When you are struggling with negative feelings, do you give up on yourself, your ability be present, do you chastise and punish when you face extenuating circumstances?

When you get in touch with who you really are, and do not buy into the voice in your head which tells you anything less (which is just a thought) you do not get sucked into the ego’s mindless musings and you stay grounded with the present. This is the true meaning of unconditional positive regard, the ability to have unfailing love towards another regardless of any change in circumstance or condition. It is eternal, unfailing and has no contingencies. When you recognize THIS as your true essence, and can stay with it. Furthermore, bypassing the current moment or feeling through any substance appears much less gratifying and it seems actually purposeless. This is also the true, real meaning of self-esteem. A sense of self that is deeply rooted in PRESENCE and unconditional love, an identity that is not defined by what anyone else says, but one that is simply rooted in BEING.

How have you allowed others to influence your feelings about yourself and to lower your feelings of self-worth? Emotional neglect and abuse are insidious. Certain toxic, abusive relationships are common triggers and when one is rained in an environment or by a parent who is abusive, oftentimes negative core beliefs become deeply rooted in the subconscious and are thus more difficult to identify in the present moment.

4) Commit to staying present with yourself.

We try to leave ourselves when we engage in compulsive behavior. It’s our way of managing the difficult feelings because for those few moments, we don’t have to face the discomfort of the thoughts in our heads about “not being good enough.” However, the cure to eliminating compulsive behavior is not a quick fix. It is a habit of replacing the need to bolt when times get taxing but instead staying present with ourselves when we want to leave in any way possible. There is something that happens when we stay in touch with ourselves even through the trying times. There’s a part of us that grows and we learn to deal with difficulties feelings, that is the important part. Every time you choose not to use when you feel the urge, you are strengthening and training your ability to cope, as well as reinforcing your ability to love yourself instead of punishing yourself.

5) Release fear and embrace love (i.e. presence).

Whenever you feel exasperated, frustrated, helpless and powerless over a situation you have identified in some way with fear. Perhaps it is boredom and loneliness, which every person in the world faces. Have you identified with the feelings that boredom and loneliness have caused within you? What do you tell yourself about you when you feel bored and lonely? Fear does not exist, it is just a feeling associated with a certain perspective about something. Fear is just an illusion, only love exists. In what way are you feeling fear about what is going on and cutting off a greater view and perspective? Perhaps boredom and loneliness are your triggers because you tell yourself that you are unlovable and undeserving of having anyone around you when are you lonely. Perhaps boredom is a trigger because it triggers feelings of worthlessness and lack of purpose.

If you can see how fear has infiltrated your perspective, then you have greater insight into how you can disidentify with your fear and negative feelings and see them for what they are. Just feelings attached to and associated with a false self of self, the ego. What would happen if you could see your fear and have compassion on yourself for identifying with that little self, the ego? We run because we are afraid, afraid of ourselves, afraid that we are insignificant, unlovable and unworthy, afraid that we really are who other people and the world tells us we are, a person defined by appearances and accumulations.

It is when we stay with ourselves during those very times that we want to run that we face who we really are, we face having to identify with our fear of not being good enough vs the reality, depth and breadth of our true presence which is eternal awareness, love and beingness. But we must forgive ourselves when we forget because it is natural inclination to cling to the ego–we are only human. But now that we know how elusive, unstable and maladaptive it is to live according to the ego’s whims, let us stay attuned to the present moment, the only place where we can ever actually be. No matter how much we run from ourselves and the stories we make up in our heads about who we are, we cannot run from the present moment–that is all we ever have.

“Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.” – J.K. Rowling

How to be happy NOW

“Life is made up of moments. Moments create days. Days create months. Months create years. Years create life. Lose the moment and you lose life.”


Goals are awesome but when we are consumed by them to the point where we postpone our happiness and security for those moments that we achieve something, we have lost our true purpose because we have lost ourselves. I have found that the more I base my sense of security identity on financial security and having “enough” the less secure and at peace I feel. The way out isn’t to achieve financial security, the way out is to not base my security on anything in this world, on any circumstance or condition.

Security cannot be found in this world, form is always changing. The very thing I am seeking myself and security in (which is actually not a thing) can provide the opportunity and is a blessing to recognize that my attachments to the things of this world cause greater pain than joy and freedom and happiness will be fleeting illusions and mirages the more I believe I will be happy in some future moment upon the attainment of them. I tell myself that once I have a home of my own and am in a settled relationship that sense of security will come and I will feel at ease but the more I desire and chase after those things the less ease I feel, and I am more detached from this moment. Our only true safety is in this moment in this awareness of our true essence, for this awareness and being will always be and never changes. The farther you look the farther from yourself you are and the more impossible it becomes to feel that security.

chasing money

Security in the worldly sense is one of the greatest illusions. How ironic it is that when there is an internal shift, a change in perspective about what is truly valuable, we become more connected to this moment and less detached with outcome and future. It is liberating, freeing and joyous to experience this moment to moment peace and no longer need any future moment outcome or thing to add to our sense of self and concept of self worth.  The dis-ease I find in seeking things in order to feel complete, like I’ve made it, is the compulsion of our society for more. We need things to add value we need others affirmation and approval of us to feel valuable.

“Chase the vision, not the money, and the money will end up following you.” – Tony Hsieh, Zappos Ceo

What gives you your sense of value? Is it your job, your spouse, the number in your bank account, some future plans you have for success? If this is the case, be prepared to feel even more empty once you attain these things because when our value is attached to these things our peace has become contingent on something external rather than internal and that’s a scary place to be. Because people die and leave and their feelings change, houses burn down and can go into foreclosure, and money comes and goes. Is it your goal to attain more in order to feel more or is it your goal to not need things and circumstances to add to your sense of self?

“Some people are so poor, all they have is money.”

Perhaps this is the true essence of the saying “less is more”. You may find that your chasing goals and situations steals from your joy instead of adding to it. Watch out for too much chasing because sometimes we are just trying to run from ourselves –from being. I am humbled when I think of what Wayne dyer said about material possessions. He stated he no longer wants them at all and no longer finds value in having them. Instead he finds value in being and contentment in serving others. That to me is someone who is free. We cannot be happy unless we are free, free from the conditioning of culture and society, free from our need to find ourselves in what the world says is valuable, free from basing who we are on things because isn’t that absurd, free from the need to label ourselves as worthy and good enough based upon what we have and own.

Let’s not forget who we really are and let’s forget what anyone else tries to impose on us. Sometimes we lose ourselves in the more we do and try to be and we find ourselves in the still moments when we recognize we are enough. The more you seek to add to your value through things or attainment the farther you are from yourself. You cannot find your worth in those things because there will always be someone who has more. And the chase will always continue. And so will your depleting sense of value the moment you attain what you believed the attainment would promise in satisfaction and feeling of wholeness. so stop looking and chasing and just be. When you can do that, you have walked into “the kingdom of heaven” where moth and rust cannot destroy. You have found yourself and there is nothing more valuable than that.

“Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about the things that matter.”  – Martin Luther King