How to End Suffering

“To stop suffering, stop greediness. Greediness is a source of suffering.” – Buddha

This I know for sure, that fear can be the cause suffering.

Fear manifests itself in curious ways.

The most compelling of which is the tendency and need to identify with a self separate from others. This separate self promulgates the need to seek fulfillment outside of oneself through the perpetual chasing of accumulation and attaining through things, power and people.

Even the search for enlightenment is a searching for something in the future outside of this moment, outside of being here right now.

To be happy, is to be with what is and to be in need and want of nothing. To be content with presence, which is conditionless. It is to surrender your own desires — for isn’t greed, a manifestation of fear, the search for security, power, and status?

What if the universe, amidst your lack of fulfillment, dissatisfaction or feeling of mediocrity, is gently pointing you towards surrender and a letting go of your own desires, plans, purpose,, mission and plan? To instead trust and actually embrace the not-knowing the uncertainty?

It is non-identification and non-resistance which facilitate, create, and manifest fearlessness and true power.

Your mind, instead of being your enemy, is actually your teacher. Be the witness to your mind and be the kind, compassionate friend to the mental noise, because that is how the mental noise and the need to identification with your thoughts dissipates.

We focus our eyes on the world and define our hearts and bodies through the culturally sanctioned filter that defines worth and meaning.

We feel helpless because these definitions are not real and the mind, the incessant chatter that seeks itself in others,, in society’s voice, isn’t real. It’s a perpetual seeking and a perpetual longing that is never satisfied.

It’s exhausting.

Until we are in tune with being, all our doing is futile and not rooted in the law of abundance and potentiality. Be rooted in being and the rest will come in due time, not out of trying and effort, but because the universe intrinsically honors that which resonates the vibrational energy that is in alignment with itself.

So how do we continually practice non-identification, the key to freedom from fear?

By noticing and becoming aware, like a third party witness, of the ways in which we resist each moment that arises.

Oftentimes we contrast the present moment to how we think things should be instead of allowing things to be as they are. Whenever we place a should on anything, we are resisting the moment and not allowing it to unfold. Pain and suffering arises from this resistance.

What are your patterns of resistance–how does it show up in your life?

How do you consistently wish things to be different from how they are –can you see how this pattern of thinking leads to suffering?

All of us carry in our minds an ideal of how we think our lives should be.

What would happen if we unconditionally allowed life to be, however it is, instead of wishing it were different?

We disallow contentment through this pattern of contrasting how life is and how we think it should be. Notice how you compare your life to the picture in your mind of what it should be.

When we contrast and compare our moments we are not here. We are dwelling on the future, which is merely a mental image. We do this because we are afraid of what is. Allowing our experience of each moment to be as it is, is in essence a meditation because we are not resisting, we are allowing.

How Does Avoidance Show Up in Your Life?

“People will do anything, no matter how absurd, to avoid facing their own souls.” – Carl Jung

Whenever we avoid or circumvent a fear in a our life, in the moment it feels like comfort, like we are avoiding the pain, the hardship, and the strife of having to deal with the fear.

But what is even more painful than challenging and facing our fear directly is avoiding the fear. Because the very thing we are avoiding having to face will show up in other areas of our lives.

When we avoid our fear, if manifests in a multitude of other forms and it reconstitutes itself emotionally as reoccurring nightmares, anxiety, rage, boredom, overeating. It manifests physically as excess body weight, digestive problems, body aches, migraines and fatigue.

One of the most insidious ways that we cope with our fear is through compulsive behavior.

We have conditioned ourselves to use any tactic necessary in order to not have to face that which we do not want to face. Those circumstances and issues that provoke feelings of unworthiness, boredom, purposelessness, lack, or uncertainty, confusion, or stress, can make us turn to behaviors to short circuit us having to deal, having to take responsibility, having to find a solution.

But every time we escape or run or avoid, the pain remains.

We do not get through and get past the pain via avoidance. We get through and past the pain by facing it, feeling it, questioning it, and examining it.

In what ways does avoidance manifest in your life?

What pattern of avoidance predominates in your life–does it pop up most often when you are dealing with physical ailments, certain relationship triggers such as rejection or lack of validation?

Perhaps it is not the fear itself that you need to run away from but the running behavior in and of itself. Perhaps what’s stopping you is not the fear but your intolerance of feeling your fear.

Your running behavior is a sign from the universe that you should run to this fear.

Instead of allowing this fear to control your life (via running – whatever you avoid ultimately controls you), it is time to confront this fear and whatever uncomfortable feelings it brings up for you.

As long as you keep avoiding it, whatever it is (i.e. bodily discomfort, a chronic physical condition, an assignment), it will keep popping up in other areas of your life to teach you the lesson it is trying to teach you.

We don’t learn the lesson unless we are willing to listen and to learn. We learn nothing when we continually to avoid via compulsive behaviors of any kind.

And there will always be fear in your life, it’s how you cope with it that means everything. As long as we are human and alive there is fear because there is the unknown.

It is human to fear yet we die every time we choose to run from ourselves rather than accepting ourselves. We die every time we numb ourselves instead of being present to the discomfort and the pain that resides in our bodies.

Notice the triggers that make you want to escape. Whether it is that evokes feelings of emptiness, loneliness, and worthlessness in you. Whatever it is that makes you feel intolerable and brings up an insatiable craving to drown in a substance that is anything and anywhere but here and now, notice that. The secret to escaping the compulsion is the awareness that you are never ever getting away from anything.

Just be here, now, that is all you have to do.

Each time you are present, you get closer to resolving the fear that you so desperately are avoiding.

How to Manifest What You Want

“Everything is energy and that’s all there is to it. Match the frequency of the reality you want and you cannot help but get that reality.” – Albert Einstein

We each have dreams and visions inside of us. Dreams to create, to utilize our creativity, to be who we aspire to be.

You were meant to create and to be who you wanted to be. However, when we falter and withhold ourselves from chasing our dreams and desires, it is because we are holding onto a limiting belief, a fear.

To trust the universe is to trust ourselves. When we trust ourselves, our gift, our vision and dream, the universe trusts us.

The more we believe in ourselves and in our dreams, the more the universe conspires to manifest that dream into reality.

The law of attraction is simply the law of mirroring.

When you trust wholeheartedly in what you want and your ability to attain / achieve your goal, the universe cannot help but attract into your life people things and opportunities to match your vibration, your desire.

The secret is to believe, because when you believe, you put out a vibration and the universe absolutely with no doubt will mirror your belief as well.

When you doubt your dream the universe doubts your dream too.

When you have full faith in your vision and ability to fulfill it the universe does miraculous things to compensate and reflects your exact vibration. Emanate feelings of hope, love, joy, inspiration and have full faith in your vision and desire. The universe promises to fulfill it. The universe is magnetic and will mirror your same vibration of love and hope, drawing into your life everything that you dream. Have faith.

Your role is only to know what is that you want and to believe wholeheartedly in it. To believe, to hope, to desire, to trust.

Feeling lost is a result of doubting and fearing failure. It is not bad to feel lost, it is just a sign that you are holding onto the fear of failure or judgment.

Resolve to trust what it is that you want, to chase after this dream wholeheartedly, and to know that the manifestation of your desire is meant to be.

How to Feel More Fulfilled

“There are two ways of being rich. One is to have all you want, the other is to be satisfied with what you have.” – Anonymous

We spend most of our lives wishing and wanting things to be different from how things are and we perpetually live in a constant state of dissatisfaction.

I’ll be happy once I get a job. I’ll be happy once I quit my job. I’ll be happy once I leave this person. I’ll be happy once we get married. The list goes on.

Perhaps the frustration and dissatisfaction that we feel is a sign to make peace with where we are.

Making peace with where we are is not a matter of resigning to the life circumstances we are in and it is not taking the lazy way out by avoidance and engaging in inaction where it is needed.

Making peace with where we are is the ability to fully be where we are in complete totality and to allow our attention and presence to be fully immersed in each moment, regardless of how much we resist or dislike our current life circumstance.

Because if we cannot be happy where we are now, we cannot be happy anywhere.

That searching in and of itself represents our own resistance to what is. It is the exact opposite of acceptance.

Acceptance is the key to contentment. It is your willingness to allow you attention and present to be here, right now, no matter what.

It is your willingness, your surrendering to the way things are right now regardless of how things show up.

The conditions that we place on our ability to be happy are always changing and it is the ego that puts them there.

When you want something in your life to change, it is a pointer, a sign that something in you needs to change.

We focus on the external and forget that the external is a reflection a manifestation of the internal.

What aspects of your life–relationships, career, health–frustrate you? Do you tell yourself that once something about those aspects changes, you will be free, you will be happy?

We can’t be present because we fear the present is not enough. We fear that we are not enough. We fear that we are not doing enough. We fear that our partners are not enough. We fear that we do not have enough.

We live in this constant state of inner deprivation, looking to our outside conditions to fill this emptiness, this insatiable hunger for more in order to feel “enough.”

So we constantly ruminate about the future and its ability to provide the fulfillment we seek, the outcome that we yearn for because now is just not enough.

We tell ourselves that fulfillment, contentment, satisfaction and enlightenment are anywhere but here but that once we achieve, attain, and become this or that, then we will have made it.

And so we are never, ever truly happy.

And so our lives becomes this constant search for that culturally defined phenomena of living the American Dream. We busy ourselves, we distract ourselves, we numb ourselves.

Fulfillment cannot be found on the level of form, because form always changes.

It is when we take a step back from looking and searching, when we surrender our thinking minds to the deep stillness and presence underneath our minds, that we feel the stillness and peace that is our true nature.

When we look abide and rest in this place of inner stillness, free of mental noise, there is a deep satisfaction there.

Isn’t it ironic that the peace and satisfaction that we search for is here all along, if only we will stop running from it, and chasing illusions that we believe will provide it?

 

 

How to Attract Abundance

“Abundance is not something we acquire, it is something we tune into.” – Wayne Dyer

Before abundance manifests outwardly, it must first be cultivated inwardly.

So within, so without.

In order to attract abundance, we must first be abundance.

What does it mean to be abundance? It means to vibrate the energy of abundance, which is to live from a state of pure, nonjudgmental love and compassion. Abundance is the natural energetic vibration of love.

It is not the outward manifestation that is of the most importance, but it is actually the mindset that we have in our innermost world, for it is that which pulls like to like.

We attract abundance when we vibrate a particular frequency into the universe. It is a very specific energy and there are certain beliefs/assumptions/fears that block off our inherent positive energetic vibration.

We were naturally born with this energetic vibration of love and abundance, however, we learned and were conditioned to cut ourselves off from our inherent ability to love ourselves and others.

At the deepest level, fear symbolizes a separation from love, which is who we really are. Fear is but an illusion, and we are never, ever separate from the love that is inherently who we have always been and always will be.

We learned early on in our culture and society that winning in life means being the best, and being the best means putting others down. This very belief that in order to succeed we must be divided from others is the very first limitation that cuts us off from abundance.

We learned to be selfish and that givers only get taken advantage of. We learned that “everyone is out to get us.” With this belief, we cut ourselves off from abundance.

We learned that since we are “not good enough” just the way we are, we have to strive and try in order to achieve and to have, so that the world could validate our worth. With this belief, we cut ourselves off from abundance.

We learned through painful experiences of abandonment and rejection that “we are unlovable.” So we live our lives afraid of giving ourselves to others, afraid of being authentic and genuine, unwilling to risk being vulnerable in relationships with others. With this belief, we cut ourselves off from abundance.

We learned to be realistic and practical, and that pursuing what we really wanted and dreamed of was impossible. We learned to live within the confines of our fears rather than facing them, and with that, we made peace with feeling numb instead of feeling the pain of taking risks and encountering new fears and challenges.

The lack that we experience in our life is a direct reflection of the limitation that we unconsciously uphold in our minds.

Limitation is just fear.

To break free of limitation means to vibrate an energy that is free of fear.

Fear dissolves with awareness.

Release fear of judgment/rejection/abandonment/what others think.

Reconnect to who/what you really are which is: pure awareness, love, potentiality, being. When you do so, you vibrate abundance and abundance cannot help but gravitate to you.

 

 

How to Follow Your Dreams

“To the ones who still believe in dreams:

Chase them. Chase them until you’re out of breath. Then, keep running.”

– Anonymous

We each have a vision of where we want to be, who we want to be, and how we want to live.

However, many of us remain complacent with how things are, failing to take action towards living the lives we dream of.

Why do we remain complacent with how things are, continuing to live just to survive, just to get by, just to pass time?

The answer is simple.

Because we are in some way holding onto fear i.e. limitation, deprivation, lack, and have not shifted our mindset from fear to love i.e. abundance, possibility, creativity.

Here are simple, bite-size steps to take you from where are now to where you want to be, and to shift from feeling overwhelmed to motivated:

Commit to the idea that anything is possible.

The first step to harnessing the motivation to get to where you want to be, to taking action right now, is to eliminate any belief that is limiting you. You can do this by embracing the reality that anything is possible.

A surefire way to mute and to cut off motivation is to believe that what you want is not possible, not realistic, practical or implementable. Forget that and don’t listen to the naysayers that tell you that what you want is not possible. Not only is what you desire possible (because someone else out there is is living their vision, their dream), all you have to do is to live as if it is possible.

The key is your mindset. If you hold onto the belief, in any way, that what you want is not fully possible, then your dream becomes impossible.

Just take the next right action.

What you envision is possible. If you have envisioned it, then know that it is possible. The universe has give you that vision for a purpose, a reason. All you have to do today, right now, is to take the next right action towards your goal.

It is easy to feel overwhelmed by a goal, but when you chip away and work towards your goal on a task-by-task basis the goal becomes realistic and manageable. Just focus on doing the next right action to achieve your goal.

If you are feeling stuck, confused or unsure of what next action to take, do not be afraid to ask others who are living the life you want and brainstorming novel methods and strategies.

Be clear.

Ambiguity fosters confusion, and confusion leads to lack of motivation. Have one specific goal and set a deadline. Having a concrete goal that is written our and clearly delineated takes the confusion out. When you know exactly what you want and when you will have it, the option of not taking action is out of the question.

Recognize who you really are.

Who are you? You are limitless potential, creativity, beauty, compassion, divine energy, and possibility. There are no limits to what you can do, achieve, accomplish if you release fear i.e. limitation. You are the vessel and the divine energy in the universe works through you.

Be bold.

It is easy to take small action and it is easy to stay within one’s comfort zone. Reach out. Ask for help. Do something you normally wouldn’t do. Take a chance. Attend that seminar you have been wanting to go to. Book that flight to the place you have been wanting to go. call that person you have been thinking of talking to.

Remember that with this time, with this one life that you have here right now in this body, you have the potential to do whatever it is you want to do. So why not be bold and go confidently in the direction of where you feel inspired and led?

“The question isn’t who is going to let me.

The question is who is going to stop me.” – Anonymous

chase-your-dreams

How to be Empowered

“We empower ourselves every time we accept responsibility for choosing the thoughts and feelings we act on.” – Karen Casey

Every single thing that happens to us in life is an opportunity for growth and happens to make us better.

Each time something happens to us, particularly a negative event (one that we interpret as negative), we have a gift, the opportunity to choose love vs fear.

When we choose love, we grow, we expand and we are in tune with our true nature which is love and compassion.

When we choose fear, we are merely making a choice to hold onto the illusion of ego.

How you interpret the things that happen in life reflects your core beliefs.

Oftentimes people’s core beliefs are negative and reflect an ego-based self structure i.e. “I am worthless,” and “I don’t deserve love.”

It is empowering and it feels good to no longer have to hold onto these beliefs that no longer serve you. Instead, when you notice your mind clinging to these core beliefs, make a shift.

With gentle awareness, you can let go of these maladaptive beliefs rooted in fear. Just letting go of a negative belief is in and of itself choosing love.

When you choose love over fear, you are choosing truth over illusion.

It is an illusion to believe that your worth and value could ever be changed or impacted by what happens to you and how others treat you.

Shifting from disempowerment to empowerment is radical but all it takes is awareness and from awareness arises compassion, which fuels the desire to make the small shift.

Each and every time we choose love, we are reinforcing our awareness and recognition of truth, we become more aligned with our higher self.

We are sowing another seed and watering the one that is already there within us, that connection to who we really are.

It hurts to hold onto beliefs that are destructive and that reinforce poor self-esteem, as doing so leads to depression, anxiety and a host of other maladaptive coping just to deal with such a poor sense of self.

However, the key lies in your awareness of your mind and it’s patterns of thinking that are maladaptive.


 

Key tips on how to choose love over fear:

– Recognize your value which is inherent, changeless, eternal
– Recognize how the ego holds onto these negative core beliefs in order to maintain the “poor me” that is not good enough — this is fear
– Recognize that the only truth is love and that fear doesn’t exist. If fear doesn’t exist, then why live from the basis of it?
– Remember that form is always changing, people are always changing and relationships never stay the same–this is the only constant thing in life the essence of impermanence
– Remember that the universe is always working in your favor and wants you to learn from the lessons it presents to you. The universe presents certain event and circumstances sometimes over and over again until you pick up the lesson you need to learn. Each time you choose love over fear you have made an accomplishment a victory a miracle. It’s a radical shift and you are telling them universe, I got it.
– Nothing that seems bad is always bad and nothing that seems good is always good. When one person leaves another person comes.
– To recognize that this world is abundant is to recognize the love that exists in you. Like attracts like so if love resides in you, you will attract that without effort.
– The universe shifts each time you consciously choose love over fear. Your vibrational force your energy changes and so does the energy around you to accommodate your shift.
– Our minds can come up with a million excuses and reasons to hold onto fear the poor self. However, all it takes is the choice to let go of any of these reasons and just choose love.
– We complicate things when they don’t need to be complicated. All we ever have to do is choose love right here right now in this moment, that is all.

“Figure out who you are separate from your family, and the man or woman you’re in a relationship with. Find who you are in this world and what you need to feel good alone. I think that’s the most important thing in life. Find a sense of self because with that, you can do anything else.” – Angelina Jolie